Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
