When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My breasts were aching with rage.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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