She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
