i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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