Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
