Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
