put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
