Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
