He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
