he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
