The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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