bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Say something about gay babies.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
