quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
