well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
as a side note pls kill me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
