I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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