My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
love makes seman taste better
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
