i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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