i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
