If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Even my vagina gasped.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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