I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
handjob tips. give me some.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
