enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
