oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
