You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
