ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
