I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
