Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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