Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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