Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Your penis caused this!
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