...so i touched it.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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