It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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