she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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