Sponge bath it is.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
