Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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