Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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