I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I need a hoe opinion
go on
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
