She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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