listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
