terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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