Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
