pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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