He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
