Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
