Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
