Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
