I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
