Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
