have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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