When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
