I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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