I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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