That's when you crack a 10am beer
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
