OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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