Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
